Just ain’t the same without him. Gween, if you read this… Hope your doing OK. We miss you and think about you.
I didn’t looked into the hunter forum for a longer time. His last post doesn’t sound good. If you read this - i also wish you the best and i hope you getting better soon!
I hope he is OK, best wishes!
Was not aware Gween was sick and searched the forums for his message about illness.
Gween. You have a lot of friends who you have never met, and we are all thinking of you.
I haven’t posted in a while, but I do read the emails that I get when people post here. I would like to say that it has really helped me to see such an outpouring of kindness and concern from the community for me. Just knowing that I made a positive difference for so many people makes me feel better.
I am not playing WoW currently (as much as I would love to) and haven’t since late January or so. The main reason is my inability to focus effectively for extended periods which makes raiding nearly impossible. Since raiding was the primary motivation…I stopped logging in.
More than that though, I was bedridden for a couple of months. I literally was stuck in bed, usually sleeping, day after day. I have been dragging myself out of bed more lately, but it is still difficult to concentrate on playing effectively. My subscription is still active since I paid (using tokens) for a really long time in advance. I am not sure what I will do with my millions in gold, as I already have a sizable $ credit with Blizzard to play games I can’t ever play, lol.
Sorry for rambling here.
So what is up with my illness? Thanks for asking! I have a disease called Sarcoidosis. This is an inflammatory disease that creates granulomas in the body. Often it may only attack a single organ, but it can also impact multiple organs. Many people get Sarcoidosis and then has it go into remission forever and they never know about it. Mine has been pretty much in remission for many years, but came back with a vengeance around 8 months ago.
In a sense, Sarcoidosis is like Cancer, except that it isn’t the Sarcoidosis that kills you, but rather it is the after effects of the damage it does to your organs. For me, it had really done bad things to my lungs. I am on 4 liters of Oxygen 24/7 and in extreme pain 24/7, for which I take OxyCodone, but they don’t give me nearly enough for the pain I have.
I am used to the pain though, after so many years, you kind of learn to shrug it off and learn how to disassociate. Playing WoW was one of the ways that I could focus on something else, and forget about the pain for a while.
My lungs have gotten so bad that my wife and I decided that a double lung transplant was our best option. There is a process to go through to get on the list for a transplant, so I had a series of doctors and specialists that I am still going to to determine if I am eligible.
I recently had an abdominal ultrasound which shows some enlargements, so I also had to have CT Scans of my abdomen and chest. This showed enlarge lymph nodes, spleen and liver. My Gastroenterologist decided to do what is called an ESD (esophagogastroduodenoscopy). Basically a simple procedure where the put a scope through your mouth into your esophagus and stomach and the upper intestines.
This test revealed Grade III Varices in my esophagus and stomach, portal hypertensive gastrophogy and some other problems. My liver is enlarged with stage 4 fibrosis (almost certainly caused by Sarcoidosis as I do not drink alcohol) and my spleen is enlarged. My liver appears to not be processing blood flow properly and this cause the veins in the esophagus to enlarge.
What this all means is that I have a very high chance of one or more of these varices bleeding out within the next 12 months or so. I’ll know because I will start vomiting bright red blood. While there are some things that can be done, the prognosis is very bad. The doctor said there is about an 85% chance this will kill me in the next 12 months.
Medicine is not an exact science and I am not giving up. I am no longer eligible for a lung transplant, but it may be possible for me to get a liver transplant and deal with the varices as well. Then perhaps a lung transplant opens back up.
If all the stars align and I roll 12 natural 20s in a row I could live. The reality is though, I am a ticking time bomb. And that’s not even taking my lungs into consideration.
I have to say though, at the risk of sounding morbid, the idea of bleeding out quickly seems more appealing than slowly suffocating to death over a longish period of time. I think the worst part is the constant fear I have now. Every twinge, every pain makes me wonder…is this it? Is this the one that kills me?
Again, I am not giving up, nor am I depressed or despondent. I love life, and I plan to keep on living just as long as I can. I plan to do everything possible to survive my condition and hopefully live to a ripe old age. I am currently 53 years old, for those that are curious
I am not complaining, hopefully this doesn’t come across that way. I am a bit long-winded and its a chance for me to vent to I am taking advantage of it, lol.
I want you folks to know that I have seen your posts, read them, and they are very much appreciated, even if I don’t respond. I truly thank you all for your kind words, well wishes and especially appreciate those that have stepped up to answer the questions people have asked about the macros when I wasn’t available.
Life is precious. My primary thoughts, as I seem to be approaching the end of mine, is that I wanted to have a positive impact on people. The fact that I seem to have be a positive impact in this community means a lot to me and helps me be satisfied with the life I have lived.
I’ll try to pop in occasionally with an update (hopefully shorter). Again, thanks to all for making a difference in my life.
I asked about you in the main thread with the xmas-macro a while ago, been wondering if all was alright and am very sorry to hear that your situation has worsened. Although most of us never or hardly ever post much on the forum you should know how much we appreciate you and your work for the Hunter community.
/aligning stars NOW !!!
Hope to hear from you soon,
Im really sad to hear about your illness, nothing to say other than i wish you recover and be in good shape soon.
Take care brother
I wish you good health and a long life.
Gween, You have been such a huge success to so many people on these threads and all your hard work should never go unnoticed. I would like to personally thank you for all you have done to help me be a better player (or make it look like I am anyway lol). I would have stopped playing a long time ago if it wasn’t for your code to help me keep going. Fight ON like the Hunter you are and always try to trust in the system and know that we are here for you and are hoping for a full recovery. So from myself and pretty much all BM Hunters every where we say Get Better and Thank You from the bottom of our hearts.
hay folks, I am a friend of Gweens. i have known him for about 10 years but only online. i am reposting this from his facebook page, and i will keep you all updated as much as i can.
Cheryl and I have decided that Hospice is the best option for me. We are signing the papers tomorrow for this.
Part of what this means is that I no longer can go to any of my doctors. The Hospice group becomes responsible for medicine and my care. I can go to the Emergency room if something bad happens, but no specialists or anything like that. We canceled the heart exam and will be cancelling any remaining follow-up appointments I have remaining.
This doesn’t necessary mean that this is a decision that can only lead to my death. It’s possible that I could regain my appetite, gain weight and get stronger to the point to where I will be kicked off Hospice (for being too healthy) and can once again pursue options for transplantation.
This is unlikely, and as things stand right now, I have been rejected by the various transplant groups because I am not a viable candidate.
The good part is that I will be more comfortable in whatever time I have remaining. Until now, I just accepted that I was going to be in severe pain all the time, and the medication I was allowed was only sufficient to take the edge off a little bit.
We are going to continue to take this one step at a time.
I haven’t been out of bed very much since the surgery, but I am doing better and feeling stronger. Cheryl made steak and fries tonight and I was actually interested in eating and enjoyed it, and ate almost all of it. This was the first time I enjoyed eating in a while. I am hoping that will continue.
I have seen the many messages people have posted and sent to me. To be honest, I haven’t been up to getting back to people yet, but I do plan on re-engaging everyone as I feel better.
Thank you for the update. I do not know Gween, except for his expert help on these forums. I’m 52, but am lucky to be in good shape physically and mentally. My mother on the other hand, not so much. So whenever I see the term Hospice, I both cringe, and feel hopeful that people can find the right care for their situation.
It breaks my heart to read about stuff like this, it really does. My prayers are with Gween and anyone else who has a mental or physical ailment.
i also want to thank you for this update, that´s very nice of you!
The next message from you will hopefully like “he is back home & now needs a diet”
So long i will think at Gween and wish him the best!
Gween - I am so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife and family. I can’t imagine what you are going through. If you ever want to live vicariously (Or just watch and tell me what i’m doing wrong ) i usually stream on Tues/Thurs raid nights !!
<3 and best wishes !!
Really appreciate the update. Everyone who is a regular here has appreciated Gween’s input into this community and his absence is deeply felt. In my case he is never far from thought or prayer.
Gween, all of my best wishes and thoughts go out to you and your family. Although we had very little conversation on the boards you have been a wonderful person to reach out to me and the community. Keep fighting the good fight and beat this thing!
Dear Gween we love you and you are in our thoughts and prayers always.
I truly hope the next update is a positive update on his condition or that things have progressed well. Even if not, I hope that he is as well as he can be. Well wishes for Gween! And best of hopes in the journey of recovery!!
Praying for you Gween. Stay strong and trust in God. No matter what happens. This is not the end.
Zex, Please pass on to Gween and his family if at all possible.
It’s amazing what the internet has sired. All these faceless spirits of people you have mentored and mattered to in THEIR lives, sight unseen, never personally meeting them but touching their lives with your passion and talents. Leaving an imprint on all our lives, bringing out the things in life that matter the most… Caring for others. . I speak for myself, as i would never assume to do so for others… but brother, you have left us all with a memorable knowledge and experience that isnt easy to explain in mere words. Know that we all wish you strength… and also I personally pray for strength for your family. All my deepest hope for you and wishes for you in your journey, my friend…if i may be allowed to call you that with honor…Dean
I hope your are hanging in there. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated all the work you have done here. I am C6-C7 incomplete quadriplegic And my fingers do not work very well your macros allow me to do some heroic raids I can not express how much that means to me thank you very much. On a personal note I sort of understand what you are dealing with I broke my neck in 1987 in 1989 the doctors told me i would be lucky to live 7 years. its almost 30 years since they told me that and I am still here I am a total mess but I am still here. God willing you will be around for a long time to come you sir are in my thoughts and prayers. I do not know if you know the serenity prayer but that helps me get through alot of tough situations by following it you might want to check it out. stay well Gween